I’m not good at many things but one thing that I am great at is sitting. I am really good at sitting, in fact, if someone were to see me sitting they would comment “man, that is some good sitting, best sitting I’ve ever seen.” One of the many benefits of my talent comes in the form of the interesting things that happen whilst I sit. For example I was able to witness something called the Academy Awards this weekend. Annie and I threw an incredible Academy Awards party that involved me and Annie and the enormous contents of our imagination all in one room. The award show is great because it is only one of two places where such a large group of liberals completely detached from real society gather together to waste inordinate amounts of time. If only congress had a red carpet because I would love to see Nancy in the latest backless Versace dress.
Inspired by the Oscars Annie and I hosted our own awards show. The two categories were best version of Scott Green and best version of Annie Green. Sadly The Curious Case of Benjamin Button won both. As much as I love the Academy Awards I love the Tyra Banks show just as much. I just love how she pretends to be a human and plays the game where she’s try to bring every conversation back to herself. Unfortunately, there can be only one favorite show. The solution is to have the Academy Awards and the Tyra Banks show fight to the death in a cage match…only one spectacle can survive.