Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm Good At Sitting

I’m not good at many things but one thing that I am great at is sitting. I am really good at sitting, in fact, if someone were to see me sitting they would comment “man, that is some good sitting, best sitting I’ve ever seen.” One of the many benefits of my talent comes in the form of the interesting things that happen whilst I sit. For example I was able to witness something called the Academy Awards this weekend. Annie and I threw an incredible Academy Awards party that involved me and Annie and the enormous contents of our imagination all in one room. The award show is great because it is only one of two places where such a large group of liberals completely detached from real society gather together to waste inordinate amounts of time. If only congress had a red carpet because I would love to see Nancy in the latest backless Versace dress.
Inspired by the Oscars Annie and I hosted our own awards show. The two categories were best version of Scott Green and best version of Annie Green. Sadly The Curious Case of Benjamin Button won both. As much as I love the Academy Awards I love the Tyra Banks show just as much. I just love how she pretends to be a human and plays the game where she’s try to bring every conversation back to herself. Unfortunately, there can be only one favorite show. The solution is to have the Academy Awards and the Tyra Banks show fight to the death in a cage match…only one spectacle can survive.

The Fray

I was watching a video for the Fray's latest song. The guitarist was playing on his acoustic with his best rock face on. Watching the Fray try to rock is like watching a book shelf try to be a James Bond movie.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Lyrical Dystopia

It has come to my attention over the last few months that music is in a sever state of corrosion. Music can essentially be split into two categories; those that appear on the radio and those that do not. For the most part that agreement has worked. I remember back in the late 90's when Evan and Jaron were wooing the ladies on the radio with little more than their good looks and ribbed t-shirts, I could turn to non-radio bands to satisfy my music needs. However, as of late even the most stalwart of bands are failing to satiate my cravings. Previously when radio bands provided trash I could listen to my bands and hold that up as a standard proclaiming my sanity in a world gone Nickleback. Bands that provided safe harbor such as Weezer, Bruce Springsteen, Ben folds and the Killers have decided to turn their backs on clear and decent lyrics to appease a world of growing insanity. This lyric from the newest Weezer album is more like a tribute to drinking gasoline than a song:
When I was younger
I used to go and tip cows for fun, yeah
Actually I didn't do that
'Cos I didn't want the cow to be sad

What does that even mean???? Is this a song about a 13 year old schizophrenic PETA advocate?

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Until Something Happens in Our life this is all We have

I watched the Matt Lauer interview with Barrack Obama and it was good see that the media has decided to be as detailed and hard-hitting with President Obama as they were with President Bush. I think the best two questions asked were: "How do you like your new Blackberry?" and "You are so awesome can I have a lock of your hair?" One of those two questions was actually asked and discussed for an extended period.
Annie and I had a huge inauguration party. It was awesomely and irrevocably off the hook. I don't know which hook but you could pretty much just pick any hook you wanted and it would be off of it. That is how we roll. We relished every moment of the six hours of inauguration coverage. My favorite part was watching all the people I don't know shuffle into a lavish dinning room and have conversations that we could not hear. It was a great two ours spent watching some fine dinning that other people were doing. Apparently the government adopted the 'scared child' policy regarding the economy. Much like a scared child closes his eyes assuming that if he can't see the monster then the monster can't see him, our public servants assumed that if we just spend money on a party like a recession doesn't exist then the recession doesn't exist. Annie and I were so engrossed by watching public officials mingle that we completely forgot to breath. Thankfully Obama walked into the dinning area and saved us from our respiratory plight.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Blood Diamonds are Forever

The pressure to maintain a blog can be inhuman. At times I feel my skin molecules been forced closer and closer, changing composition and forcing my soft touchable skin into hard diamond. While it is tempting to let this process transpire and sell of small chunks of me ensuring life-long material comfort I know that I would forever be hunted by De Beers and Leonardo Dicaprio in a never ending struggle for my heart as they sought out the largest blood diamond ever. Although sometimes Annie gets a look in her eye, as if she’s imagining a giant golden ring attached to my back. Blogging is no easy task. Frequently neither Annie nor I can think of anything to write about. In the last two weeks nothing has happened except school starting, and to speak of school would be to open up a rift into a darker world that would claw through the reader’s skull and draw all goodness from it leaving a heaping mass of brooding. All I can hope is that something big happens tomorrow providing me with written fuel.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Musings of a Returning Man

Coming back to Provo after Christmas break is very painful. Its like being at the best party you've ever been to in your life but then half way through it you have leave to go and sit in the refrigerator. Upon returning back to Utah Annie and I had to clear off the two feet of snow that was not only sitting on our car but nature had taken the time to glue every particle of snow to our car. After healing from a sickness that Annie and I both received as a welcome back to Provo gift school began. School is a fascinating little world. Professors love to tell you that they are preparing you for the real world but then proceed to immerse you in a series of scenarios so supremely unique to academia that they have very real possibility of handicapping those with a desire to enter the private sector. Also, Barrack Obama is the greatest marketing plan the United States has ever come up with. You can buy coins, tote bags, mugs, or even trading cards with Barrack Obamas face on it. The next step I see is the New Nike Barrack Obama basketball shoe. Who knew "Hope' came in the form of easy money. With the new year comes many new events and experiences, in the next blog you will hear of our careful anaylization and predictions for 2009.